The Five Keys to
"Most People think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book he offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships — one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
In inspiring and encouraging terms, this book shows us how a handful of steadfast commitments can lead to mature and lasting relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual dedication to granting attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and "allowing." These are the doorways to the joys and wealth of relationship, but too often we don't grasp what these words really mean and don't know how to fully manifest them in our relationships.
Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into the lifelong journey of love, from childhood to adulthood, from dating to breakups. Topics include:
- becoming conscious of patterns in our relationships
- recognizing and attracting adult love
- understanding the major phases of relationships
- maintaining healthy boundaries as we become increasingly intimate
- overcoming fears of abandonment or engulfment
- expressing anger and other emotions in adult ways
- surviving breakups with your self-esteem intact
- understanding love as a spiritual and heroic journey
David Richo, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist who leads popular workshops at the Esalen Institute and around the country. He is the author of several books, including How to Be an Adult and Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.